#75Hard still going strong - Day 63

 It has been a while since I did an update here.  My intentions were to come back and give a weekly summary of my thoughts, emotions, fears and foods every week as I went through this journey.

Today is Day 63 of my journey and I am less than two weeks away from completing the program.  This program truly feels like it has been life changing for me in a number of ways.

First, I am firmly into the routine of getting my exercise in every single day.  My work lunch time will never be the same.  Even after I am done with #75Hard I plan on keeping this routine going.  In addition, starting at the beginning of February I plan on adding a gym membership.  One of my co-workers who works the same shift as I do goes to the gym after work for 30 minutes to an hour and is doing the same thing I am, just trying to get healthy.  Once February rolls around I plan on jumping on board with him and the days that he and I work together I'll hit the gym after work for some cardio and some strength training to build a little bit of muscle but to also tone up a bit.

Second, my eating patterns and habits of completely changed over the course of the past two months.  I have not had any fast food and I have not partaken in any junk food.  I have pretty much gone low-carb because that suits my body well.  While I do think that once I am done with this program I will have some fast food from time to time, my plan is to convert over to only low-carb/Keto options when doing so.

I am eradicating bread from my eating and I am finding substitutes for when I need a bread like substance. It took multiple weeks to break my sugar addiction so that I no longer craved sweets so overwhelmingly that when I saw a free donut I shoved it into my face and started reaching for seconds.  I absolutely love my Reece's Peanut Butter Cups but I have found substitutes that give me that chocolate and peanut butter fill without having to over sugar my system.

I know my limitations and I know my pitfalls.  I cannot allow myself to go back into my old routines even just for a meal or two because that leads me right back to where I always go - a big fat ass.

I have not purchased new clothes yet but I know I have shrunk.  My shirts fit more loosely, I have to tighten my belt more than I used to.  I have a couple of shirts upstairs in my dresser that I tried on a bit into the challenge and they did not fit me well and once I finish day 75 my plan is to put them on again and see the results through the pictures.

I need the visual.  I have low self image.  I do realize that since I have dropped 30 pounds (the scale tells me so, I can't fake that) that there has been a physical transformation of sorts.  However, when I stand in the mirror and take my daily progress picture that I only share with myself, I do not see it.  If I look at Day 1 and Day 63 side by side I honestly see the same overweight, obese, fat-ass in both pictures.  It is my mentality and I am working on changing that.  That is where the shirts will come into play.  I know that they will fit me better and I cannot deny what I see when I don't have the ability to just focus on the flaws.

Over the course off the past 62 days I have wanted to quit and give up but I have kept pushing.  I want to become more mentally tough and I want to be able to achieve the goals I set out for myself.  Quitting will not get me closer to anything.  Pushing through when times are tough is the mental fortitude that I want to show the world and, more importantly, my children.  I do not want them to see Dad giving up because something is tough or stressful.  I want them to see that Dad steps up to the challenge and succeeds even when it seems impossible. I want them to have the same mentality.  Kids learn by example and I need to set that example.

So, while I haven't come back here every week like I had planned, I will definitely follow up at least one more time when #75Hard is done.  I will have update pictures, steps taken and total weight loss.

Peace out and Trapper on Dudes!